Episode Guide
Much like the vast majority of dancers last night, the Atlanta auditions episode of So You Think You Can Dance had a lot going for it - more right than wrong - but what was wrong was SO BAD that we just can't give you a ticket to Vegas right now, thankyouverymuch.
The show rolled through the great Southern metropolis of Atlanter — spoken in Cat Deeley-eese.
Shane Sparks returned to join Mary and Nigel in the judges' seats, and the former Britney Spears choreographer was his shrewd, sharp, and playful self.
Someone give Shane Sparks (no relation to American Idol winner Jordin Sparks) a permanent seat on the panel! Why? Look no further than how Shane handled Bryan Gaynor, the CompSci student whose tiny frame was stunted by scoliosis.
Bryan's pretty darn perfect robotic dance moves to Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" instantly won over all three judges, but only Shane knew how to praise them without giving Bryan the verbal equivalent of an "aren't you just so special" pat on the head.
Even Bryan clearly knew that his being sent on to the choreography portion of the auditions was little more than a kind gesture, but afterward Shane promised to get Bryan a part in the next movie he was due to choreograph. The wife of this Scoop staffer got a bit-teary eyed.
Then came the saga of Myles Johnson.
A former high-school quarterback, Myles began dancing as a way to stay in shape for football after he broke his leg, but instead dropped football to pursue dance full time. At which point, Myles told Cat Deeley on the steps, his father pretty much disowned him.
Come on. We're not drawing conclusions about anyone's sexuality based on five-minute segments on reality TV shows, but it was just painfully obvious to viewers that ol' pappy Johnson was terrified that, since his son was dancing, his son was therefore gay - whether it's true or not.
How much further will the producers milk this tension as Myles progresses through the Vegas auditions? Since we saw but a glimpse of his attempt at the choreography, apparently the judges concluded that only eight months' dancing experience was enough — and his story is too good to pass up.
Nigel's lame Brokeback Mountain joke to ex-Marine and booty-shaking cowboy Christopher Garmon aside, there was plenty to love in the Atlanta tryouts.
Eighteen-year-old Caitlin Cucchiara twirled like a figure skater, winning a ticket to Vegas without resorting to the growing trend of hot pants and a bikini top. Clogger Brandon Norris — a cross between Clay Aiken, Elliott Yamin, and Kenneth on 30 Rock — shut Nigel Lythgoe up but quick with his Roadrunner-quick feet after the judge/producer prefaced the audition with the warning that they had never put a clogger through before.
And Ashley Simpson — who, if she's reading, really needs to cut back on the tanning bed — stuck her claim to the famous (if differently spelled) name with a game lyrical routine that caught Mary's eye and had her forcing Shane and Nigel to send Ashley off to Vegas instead of the choreography line. Heck, she can probably sing better than the other Ashlee Simpson.
Even the bad auditions weren't shabby. Christopher Crabb should maybe have considered that, as a school teacher, confessing an obsession with Justin Timberlake on a show that is, well, asking for it. That's all.
For the Las Vegas auditions, don't bet against Hokuto "Hok" Konishi, hip-snapping ballroom dancers Anya Garnis and Pasha Kovalev, one-time cruise-ship dancer Brianne Healey, Benji Schwimmer's sister Lacey Schwimmer, and hip-hopper Phillip Chbeeb.
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